Archive

Originals

Kuwadrado.
Puti.
Simple.
Ganyan ang munting kahon ng aking kaibigan.
Pinatuyong bulaklak ng rosal,
unang liham mula sa minamahal.
Mga larawan, mga tula,
balat ng kendi’t baryang papel;
isang boteng maliit, lalagyan ng pabango noon—
ilan lamang sa mga kagamitang namumuhay sa loob ng kahon.
Ang kanyang paggiliw sa munsik na kayamanan
ay higit pa sa sariling buhay.
Hindi ipagpapalit sa anumang kagamitan;
wika pa nga’y, “Mawala nang lahat, ‘wag lamang iyan…”
Lumipas ang mga araw, kinailangang lumisan,
mangingibang-bayan at kaibiga’y iiwanan.
Taon ang binilang nang muling magtagpo,
datapwa sa isa nang nakapanlulumong yugto.
Ang aking kaibigan na minsang nakapaloob sa isang kahon,
kasama ng kanyang matatamis na alaala,
habambuhay, sa lupa’y ibabaon.

—JRJM © 2004

To my dear foreign readers,
this piece was written in memory of a friend
whom we lost from lupus at a very young age of 17.
If it helps, you can have it translated online
in order to somehow understand what I meant.

Hi.

I heard you lost in your game today. It’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up because it wasn’t your fault. You know how it is in any competition—there can never be two winners. Well, in a basketball game, that is. No, your father won’t take it against you. He will understand. How do I know? I just do.

Practice. Practice some more. You know what they say about practicing.

Need a break? Go ahead. Take a breather. I know it’s crazy.

So what if you got the lowest score in your Mathematics test the other day? Did you not excel in your extemporaneous speech on Friday? Tell you what—I failed one too many times in college. Not convinced? Believe it. I spent six years in Engineering when I should have graduated in five. It’s tough, but I earned my diploma eventually. It’s a wonderful, wonderful feeling.

It’s okay. You can’t be the master of everything, anyway.

I found out that your girlfriend dumped you. Well, what do I say? Would you have done it yourself? I don’t think so. I know what it’s like to be left hanging.

It was ugly. Hurtful, even.

You’re still young. You have all the time in the world. Who knows, you will bump into your soul mate when you least expect it. When you do, cherish her. Treat her the way you want your mother or sister to be treated. For now, relax. Don’t find love for it will find you.

Why am I telling you these? Because I care. I’ve been there, done that. I want you to know that these failures don’t mean the end of the road. They are detours that lead you to something more beautiful. You just have to wait.

Don’t dwell on these negative thoughts because they will consume you before you even know it. Feed only on the good things that are happening around you. Smile often, laugh more.

Change the way you think.

Appreciate. Be grateful.

No one expects you to be the best. It’s enough that you become the best version of yourself.

When all else fails, pray.

Most importantly, I wish you better days.

—JRJM © 2012

30-DAY BLOGGING CHALLENGE
DAY 18: A TIME WHEN YOU FELT PASSIONATE AND ALIVE

The plane has arrived and it’s time for me to go. It is time. This is my trip. Long have I waited and now, I’m not sure how I’m feeling about this. It’s too good to be true. I finally am heading to some place I haven’t been to. I am as excited and anxious as all the other passengers of this plane. We’re going to a place only-God-knows where…

It’s that sentimental yearning for happiness of a former place and time—a nostalgia for my college days. Looking back, I am just blown away. The university has opened up a lot of doors for me and I owe all of them to my Alma Mater. It taught me a lot about patience and survival. Who I am and what I am now is all because of the people I met along the way. I sure have learned to be strong for it takes character to face all the troubles that came my way.

To all my real friends, I may never have made it this far if not because of your encouragement and support that sustained me all throughout these years especially during those times when you hardly see me nor feel my presence in school (you well know what I mean).

To my brothers (and younger cousins), I hope I have set a good example to you in striving and doing well in school because more than anything else, education is still the best treasure one can have and finishing school is the best gift we could give our parents.

To my parents, THANK YOU for your unconditional love and for all other things I should be thankful for. I just can’t thank you enough. I hope I made you proud.

To Lola Letty, Nanay Swinda and Tatay Inong, I offer you this momentous chapter of my life. Wherever you are, I hope I have made you proud, as well.

To God, my refuge and my pillar of strength, THANK YOU! Oftentimes, I have not done my best and I know each time I fail in the things I do, I also failed You. Despite all these, You never left me and know You are and will always be right beside me. I shall keep the faith.

To my batchmates, I will miss all of you. I know I may not have been the best in class, but I hope, in one way or another, I have made a difference in your lives. I may not have brought into social contact with all of you, especially those from 5B, but I wished I got the chance to know each and every one of you. I have come to love this batch because this is where I belong now.

To all those who should have been with us on this trip, don’t you worry. Just do your thing and soon enough, you’ll be on board too. Anyway, when we’re all out there, it’s going to be just the same.

—JRJM © 2009

I wrote this a few weeks before my college graduation day. I had a tough time during my senior year in college. Tough is even an understatement. I almost did not make it to graduation due to unforeseen adversities I had encountered in school. Just imagine how stressful this can get not only for myself, but for my parents as well. We only breathed a sigh of relief when a few weeks before our Baccalaureate Mass, my name was included in the investiture program provided by our department.

All graduating students across the university is expected to participate in the Baccalaureate Mass organized by UST. This is usually held in our football field, right in front of what we call The Grandstand. The Baccalaureate Mass is usually a concelebrated mass officiated by the Dominican priests of the university. It serves as a Thanksgiving Mass from all graduating students of the current academic year.

I’d say that apart from my actual graduation day, this was most significant in my six years in UST. This was a time when I felt passionate and alive. Every bit of this event was just overwhelming, especially towards the end of the program. I think I started getting more emotional when we were asked to face the Main Building while we sing the UST Hymn. Things got even more breathtaking when the sky was filled with colorful fireworks to conclude the celebration. After which, all students march down the Arch of the Century, a gesture opposite the Freshman Welcome Walk held for first year college students, indicating the students final exit from the university.

As a toddler, I was exposed to toys that constitute to a child’s brain development such as colorful building blocks, shape and color sorter, and several picture books. According to my parents, at age 2, I already knew the correct orientation of a magazine if it’s overturned. I learned the alphabet even before I started school at age 4. My mother used to read me my children’s books to pass the time rather than spend it watching the television. I developed my passion in reading when my friend, Abby, in fourth grade introduced me to paperback novels. I used to own a collection of R. L. Stine’s Goosebumps and Francine Pascal’s Sweet Valley High. I was already in high school when I started reading romantic novels by Judith McNaught and Jude Deveraux.

Sometimes, in school, I’d sit on the corner of our room and doodle at the back of my notebook. I would write words and phrases that eventually make up a sentence or a poem. My first ever published poetry was about my perception of health as a young kid. It was featured in one of Jollibee‘s Newsletter back in the 90s. I don’t remember exactly when I wrote this, but perhaps young enough to receive a monthly bulletin for kids. It went something like this:

Health is wealth
That should be kept
By every child
Who wants the best.

Eating fresh fruits
And vegetables, too
Will make you strong
The whole day through.

I didn’t know (nor did my parents) I had a flair in writing until another one of my works received an unexpected recognition in September 2001. In preparation for our English week, we were asked to write a poem about something we find inspirational. Incidentally, my parents’ birthdays were coming up, so I thought of writing a poem as my simple gift for them. It was like hitting two birds with one stone. My piece, Come What May…, was about my love and gratitude towards my parents. If I remember correctly, I didn’t have trouble writing that poem. It’s as if I had the words arranged in my head, and all I had to do was put it in paper.

Miss Joan, my English teacher, must have really loved my work because apart from giving me a perfect grade for it, she had my poem showcased at the exhibit. She even wrote a personal note to express her thoughts on my composition:

Jayvin,
You’re very lucky to have such wonderful parents. If you can, try and spend time with them as much as possible. Why? Because it isn’t easy for a parent to notice that their little girl is growing up fast and eventually will drift away from them someday.
P.S. Reading something like this makes me think that despite of all the crisis of our economy in this materialistic world, the best things in life are still free… Like the love of one’s parent to her children.
Ma’am Joan

At that time, I thought I was lucky to have been given the opportunity to display my creation in public. I didn’t get that much recognition in school until one day, in April 2002, I received a letter from the Poetry.com. I was completely perplexed about this for two reasons: (1) I didn’t write to them; (2) I didn’t even know such a website existed, but my parents did. Yes, it was the look in their faces that somehow gave me a hint of what was going on, but not quite. I had to read the letter twice in order to understand what it said. In the midst of confusion and surprise, I was ecstatic to learn that my parents submitted the poem I gave them to the website, and that it was chosen to appear in the next volume of The International Library of Poetry! I wrote a four-liner, six-stanza poetry, so we had to slightly adjust it to satisfy the requirement of 20 lines per entry.

I didn’t believe all these were happening until I received a package from Poetry.com right in our doorstep. It was a hard-bound, print copy of the volume where my poetry was published to:

A Grasp at Eternity
The International Library of Poetry

It was the best example of the cliché, To see is to believe. My family immediately flipped through the pages to look for my poem, and when we did, I think I cried. It was tears of overwhelming joy. As if it wasn’t enough, I learned in the letter attached to it that my poem was granted the Editor’s Choice Award! And while you’re at it, mine was the only entry from the Philippines in that volume. Filipino Pride: Represent!

Come What May… by Yours Truly

My family and I were in jubilation. I could tell that they took pride in one of my greatest achievement in life. It went viral among relatives and friends. It would be an understatement to say that it felt like I won the lottery. A few weeks later, I was invited to give an inspirational speech in school to encourage kids my age to continue doing what they love best, dream big, and live the dream because you will never know what life has to offer. I believe that every human being possesses a gift. Not all people discover their gift at an early age like I did; some don’t even realize this at all. If you do, develop it, and make good use of it. God will definitely appreciate it when you do.

At 15, I didn’t think of it as anything but a simple gesture, yet it took me to places I have never imagined. Allow me to leave you with this inspirational quote by a fellow dreamer, Walt Disney:

All our dreams can come true; if we have the courage to pursue them.
—Walt Disney (1901-1966)

I’m curious. How about you? What is your greatest achievement to date? :)

As I was cleaning my desk this morning, I found a filler notebook I used in my English class in junior high. If I remember correctly, we were asked to write about a specific topic once a week as part of our curriculum. Below was one of the entries I had in my journal:

A doughnut glazed with speckles.

A doughnut glazed with speckles. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In early times, doughnuts were really meant to have holes on it. It wouldn’t be called a doughnut unless it has a hole. Compare this condition in real-life situations. Assume that the doughnut symbolizes life while the hole represents the disasters or problems in it. Ever wondered why we have problems?

Let’s accept the fact that we need problems in life. They are most likely to be a hole in a doughnut. We need them in order to learn lessons in life because the only time most of us ever learn anything is when we get hit over the back of the head. Why? Because it’s easier not to change. We learn our biggest lessons when things get rough. Sometimes, we encounter different situations in life that tell us something if only we’d read between the lines. Sometimes, we think the Lord has forsaken us with these disasters, but that’s not true. We should realize that they were meant not for us to be punished, but for us to be educated. Every event has the potential to transform us, and problems have the greatest power to change our thinking. As what Andrew Matthews said, “Act as if every event has a purpose, and your life will have purpose. Figure out why you needed an experience, conquer it, and you won’t need it again.”

18 August 2001 | ©JRJM

Sometimes, it still amazes me how I had written these things in my younger years. I mean, where could I possibly get inspiration or experience from at the age of 15?

She’s a mess. She laughs with friends. She smiles at familiar faces. She wears this mask whenever she comes around people to conceal the real emotions she possesses inside. She wears a cloak–her security blanket–for all her frigid sentiments. In solitude, she found comfort. She gained sympathy in words. She’s a fool.

The world has shut her out. She drowns herself in self-pity, enveloped with a melancholic disposition. This time, she prefers to stand alone and fight to win her own battles, unarmoured.

She’ll be fine. She is me.

Cross-post from gorjaeous© on Blogspot | 2009

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 458 other followers